Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Win A Free Copy of Moby Brick and Starbucks Gift Card!!! (Writing Contest)

Hello all! As you may or may not know, I wrote a book called Moby Brick. I am going to order some copies and I have three to give out for free (including free shipping). I thought I'd have a little contest to determine who to send them to along with a $20 Starbucks giftcard for first place and a $5 card for second and third.
What I've done is composed a list of the top ten reasons why my book is better than the "classic," Moby Dick.  However I only wrote the first seven. Post a reason of your own in the comment section below. I will pick the top three to add to the list and make into a separate blog post. (Scroll to bottom to see more contest details.)

If you look at the list I started you will see that it is not serious or literal, so don't worry about not having read one or both books. As long as your entry is funny, it will be considered.

If you want inspiration however, or just to know a bit about the prize here are some links:

Here is the book trailer:

...And finally here is the list!

Top 10 Reasons why Moby BRICK is better than Moby DICK

1) Moby DICK was written by a dude named Herman Melville. Herman fucking Melville; with a name like that, the guy must of been a major pansy! Moby BRICK was written by me. Yes, technically my first name is James, but everyone calls me Brick. Brick Cruz. Come on, with a name like mine I should totally be a rock star.

I so have the look too. Sign me up already EMI!

2) Moby DICK was written like a million years ago. Nothing good was made back then. Seriously, name one good song, dance move, or movie from back then. Doesn't exist -.-

3) Moby DICK is about a bunch of guys on a whaling ship. That means there were no girls. That means that if nobody was getting any, that's actually a BEST CASE scenario o.0

According to my fully authorized autobiography, I scored with all three of these chicks.

4) The author of one of the books in question doesn't have a fruity hipster for a descendant. I'll let you guess which one.

5) Chances are you already know that Moby DICK isn't your favorite book ever written. Moby BRICK might be. You can't say it's not if you haven't read it.

6) I once read a book about the different breeds of whales and it was boring. Moby DICK is about one whale. A whole freaking book about one whale. He didn't even have any powers. Moby BRICK is a bunch of short stories with all kinds of different stories. There's even a cool story about a taco; how zany is that!!*

The boring book on whales I read wasn't even that big.

7) If you get one million of your friends to buy a copy of my book, I will send you a thank-you note. Melville can't do that because he's already dead you see.

8)    ?

9)    ?

10)  ?

*There might not actually be a story about a taco.


Those selected will all receive a free signed proof copy of Moby Brick. A proof copy is basically a prototype; it's just like the real book only it says "Proof Copy" on the last page. The reason I'm giving out proof copies is because the book isn't out yet, so you will be getting a copy before anybody else.

You can post as many entries as you like. If selected, send me the address you want your copy and Starbucks card sent to; my email is: 626cruzin@gmail.com (P.O. Boxes are fine).

Contest ends on 11/23/12

Your prize awaits you fucker.

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