Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Obama, Europan Chicks, and the American Way...

So Obama won the American presidency. Big woop, once you're in it's practically impossible to get fired. Show me something new ese!!! OK, OK, I'm a little bitter. My candidate, Gary Johnson, wasn't even a household name; makes me sad.

You had to take my parking spot too?? Freakin' ass!!

People ask me if my views opposing socialism have changed since I've been living in Europa for the past year, and some of them even accuse me of being a hypocrite since I took advantage of the very efficient socialist health care system they have out here. Yup I said it, in fact I would even call it extremely effective. Hey I give credit where it's due, although I find being called a hypocrite a bit steep.

By that logic, anyone who lives in a tract house, works for a corporation, consumes products made by a corporation, owns a car, or even uses electricity, cannot criticize capitalism, corporations, and "Big Oil." After all they take advantage of what it is those things contribute to society. We can use the resources that are in place and still talk about how they can be better. It's as much my right as it is yours.

Also, if me leaving the U.S. to get health care in Europa (which I did after being misdiagnosed with a brain tumor) constitutes proof that their healthcare system is better, then the fact that I'm now leaving Europa since I can't find stable work to go to the U.S. where I already have two job offers constitutes proof that our U.S. capitalist economy is better. Take that, libs!!!

Here's how I view Europa: it's a a fucking utopia.  A mild, boring as shit, very healthy utopia. People here have great attitudes, they work very hard towards education, they aren't motivated by greed, they aren't violent, and generally treat each other with love and respect. 

But that doesn't mean I don't hate living here. Cause I do. I know it's a healthier way to live, but it's boring as fuck. Once you live somewhere like Los Angeles where everything is fast, loud, and superficial, it's hard to live to somewhere that's none of those things. It's like switching from drinking coke to water; sure it's healthier, but is it really worth living longer for?

I still remember my first weekend out here after getting my driver's license. I couldn't wait to go down town. I drove through the narrow streets freaking out every time a car was coming the other way thinking we would surely crash.

                          Makes you wonder how they street race?
Steep Streets of Cusco by MacJewell, on Flickr
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License  by  MacJewell 

Once I arrived at my destination, I hit the medieval cobblestone streets of down town Europa where a fair was taking place. It was eerie as heck to move around this crowd and hardly hear any sound at all. Even little kids were running around without making much noise, let alone screaming there heads off as American kids do.

Maybe it was just families I thought and headed to the bars. But they offered no relief to the silence that cut me down to the bone. I couldn't believe how quiet and well mannered all the young Europans were. They sat there sipping their brews and calmly holding intellectual discussions. I wanted to shake them by their shoulders and yell, "Party, damn you!"

This wasn't just a one time thing. I have since been on long car rides, family dinners, and a few young people shindigs. They barely talk, and I can't tell you how many conversations have been about education or intellectual subjects. I sit there practically losing my mind, unable to stand the silence and boredom. I want to laugh, and tell stupid stories, and be a jackass like I was in the States. The Brick has a voice dammit!!


Now this brings me to another issue. I've never been a popular guy, but I could always find a good group of friends amongst the rag-tag rejects of society. It's been said that people, like water, seek their own level; and that is most certainly what I did. At least in the States.

Hi guys! Room for one more? 
Travelling Hippies by mrfraley, on Flickr
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License  by  mrfraley 

But how do you gravitate to the lowlifes of society in a society that lacks lowlifes? You can't. I walk the streets of Europa and I feel their eyes upon me. Judging me; hating me. Perhaps I'm just paranoid, but there's no denying I stand out, as I rock Dickies and an Everlast hoodie amongst people in cardigans, button up shirts with collars, and corduroy pants.

People have asked me why I don't just buy a whole new wardrobe. Well I use the money I make to pay off my debt in the States. Plus, it's just not me. I can't see myself wearing that kind of clothes and it shouldn't matter.

It's so hard to be a social person in an environment that you don't belong in. I've tried to interact with them and they have tried as well; but other than Leroy, Miss Dee, X Man, and a few others I've met along the way, we just don't click.

"Aww how cute; Brick thinks he's people."

As a person who loves and is stimulated by loud and frequent interaction it sucks, but at least I'm not needy. I always have me, myself, and I. However, when it comes to girls - well you can't use that same expression can you o.0 ? While they're much smaller than me, and most of them can't throw a punch to save their lives, for some reason pretty girls scare the shit out of me.

Now I'm no pimp, and I've never been one of those smooth cats who can go up to a pretty girl at the bar and just start spouting game. But fortunately, I've done pretty well considering I don't have that skill. I always met chicks through friends or at parties and was able to talk to them from a comfortable place and thus was able to hit them with my charm.

Not to mention the number of times chicks have hit on me. My friends sit in awe when some hot chick starts hitting on me out of nowhere including the time I went to the bar to pay my tab and a chick at the bar told me it was her birthday and then just started making out with me. The dude she was with wasn't too happy, though he didn't do anything. (I was waiting for the day I could sneak this story into a blog post!)

When you're used to a certain amount of attention, you get spoiled. So when I'd hit the bars of Europa and not get a single glance, it was very disconcerting. I felt ugly, as I finally realized I was the very epitome of what Europans stereotype Americans to be: a loud mouthed, uneducated, fat slob. In America, I'm considered normal/buff. But compared to the tooth picks out here, I'm considered obese.

In the USA, chicks can't resist my buffness!! ...seriously, it helps me hold their arms down.

Granted I haven't gone out that much during my stay here in Europa. But still in all those times only once did I have a girl giving me the eye. Once!!! She was cute and had long hair with the sides of her head shaved completely off. Not the best look for a chick, but it showed she didn't conform to social norms which is probably in part why she was checking me out. 

The only problem was she was with three friends, and with my self image being rocked as it has, my American accent, and the fact that when you approach a chick and her friends you have to get them all to like you, it seemed like a daunting task.

So I asked my boy Leroy to go open them up for me and introduce me. He refused; he said he was too shy. WTH!!!! I couldn't believe it, serious Bro Code violation homie!! By the time I worked up the courage to go talk to her (by drinking lots of beers), I saw that she was talking to some big black guy. And you know what they say about black guys...

...they have big fists!!

So am I happy to finally head back to the States?? Fuck yeah I am. I'm going to eat a taco, hug a palm tree, and claim a Mexican took my job which will be a half truth since I'm half Mexican.

But just cause some lowlife jackass fits in better in the U.S.A. does that justify having a political system in place that is inferior to Europan socialism? After all I called Europa a healthy utopia; am I really selfish enough to want to deny that to my compatriots simply because I prefer drinking coke to drinking water?

At this point I draw your attention to the fact that "Europa" isn't me misspelling "Europe," it's the nickname I've given to an actual country with characteristics that are in stark contrast with the United States. For one thing, it's much, much smaller than the U.S., but more than that it has a total lack of diversity. Not only is there a shit load of white people, but they all think alike.

And that is such a necessary element for a socialistic society to succeed. When I say that Europans aren't greedy, that stretches across the spectrum, from laymen, to doctors, and even to politicians (by comparison mind you).

If you put in a socialist medicine in the States, the problem isn't just that lazy people who don't work will take advantage; the problem is the politicians, doctors, and insurance companies will all take advantage. They promote regulation as a guise for their truly corrupt agendas.

To get a better sense of what socialism would look like in America, the UK gives us a much more accurate picture. The UK has a level of diversity much closer to ours, they have extremists, different races, cultures and religions. They have adopted a socialistic government model - and it's failing them terribly. I said Europans aren't violent, but the U.K. has seen a sharp increase in violent crime since they had an all out ban on guns.

I said that Europa's "universal health care" is very efficient. Not so with the U.K.'s NHS. People go on waiting lists for years for medical procedures. One thing I didn't talk about is Europa's economy which is doing worse than ours. These socialist societies aren't autonomous.

They have an economic saying out here that goes "When America sneezes, Europe catches a cold." It seems these socialist economies wouldn't be able to maintain themselves without America having the world's highest level of production which is thanks to laxer regulations that favor economic growth.

Again, the reason socialism works in Europa is because the people all think alike and they are moral. America's love of Europan Socialism is a case of confusing causation and correlation. Just because you impose a socialist economy on Americans doesn't mean they will all the sudden all start thinking alike and act morally.

And there are drawbacks to the socialist economy as well. There have been a number of Europans who have bitched at me about how hard it is to start a business in Europa, and how frustrated they are at being taxed at 50% (and that's not graduated like in the American system, it's total). Personally, I'd rather be free than be taken care of. I'd rather live in a ghetto apartment and make my own rules, than live in a mansion my parents own and be told how to live.

Am I right that capitalism is the best economic system for a country as big and diverse as the United States? Well I think so. But one thing I know for sure is that a society without love and morals will fall apart no matter what social or economical system is in place.

Love is what gives human experience purpose, joy, life. It fuels good intentions and produces incredible results. As Benny "The Jet" Urquidez once said, "If you can't do it for love, I guarantee it won't last long."

So if you're frustrated about the state of our society - whether you think it's gone too far to the left or not far enough - just remember to love your brothers, sisters, neighbors and even your enemies. Forgiveness and love will heal our wounds and unite us on the things that really matter. That is one lesson we can take from Europa.

I forgive you and your people for helping Obama win.
Hippy at Phoenix Gay Pride Parade by kevin dooley, on Flickr
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License  by  kevin dooley

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