Saturday, March 9, 2013

Supid Red Neck vs Evolved Californian

I like life here in the sunny California, but even our bright skies have seen a cloud or two...

Clouds shaped like fish with little feet!!

1 The Stupid Red Neck hates Arabs because he cannot distinguish between a few rotten apples and the religion of peace that they exploit. The Evolved Californian knows that it is far more intelligent to hate Christians.

2 The Stupid Red Neck clings to his gun like a moron because the NRA has sold him tales of evil tyrants in far away lands who ban guns from their populace in order to control them. And while it's true that Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Fidel Castro all banned guns so they could not be over thrown once they started fulfilling their evil designs, the Evolved Californian knows that a power hungry politician banning guns and slowly taking away citizen's rights will never happen in his country.

He also doesn't need airbags in any vehicle he owns because the Evolved Californian will never be in a car accident, and putting life boats on a cruise ship ridden by the Evolved Californian is just a waste of deck space!

3 The Stupid Red Neck reads his Bible and believes a bunch of silly stories about an imaginary Supreme Being who created the world out of love. The Evolved Californian knows that the human race was created by little green men on flying saucers.

Sheer genius!
rasta Hendrik by loufi, on Flickr
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License  by  loufi 

4 The Stupid Red Neck has no respect for nature which is why he eats meat. The Evolved Californian separates himself as a superior species amongst the rest of the animals by not engaging in eating meat like they do.

5 The Stupid Red Neck watches Fox News which presents a one sided view and is full of disinformation and half truths. The Evolved Californian gets his facts from much more legitimate sources.

Like this guy.

6 The Stupid Red Neck believes in traditional marriage of a man and a woman to preserve the family unit. And while many societies have crumbled into chaos when morals become lax and promiscuity becomes the norm, the Evolved Californian knows that his society will only crumble upwards... into evolution.

Besides where did straight people get the idea homosexuality is linked to promiscuity??

7 The Stupid Red Neck is an idiot. He rides a truck with over-sized wheels, drinks himself stupid with moonshine, and goes home to his trailer to beat his wife. He is an intolerant racist and hates what he does not understand. The Evolved Californian is far too evolved to engage in hatred and stereotyping ;-)

*Don't forget to check out my book!  

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