Sunday, October 25, 2015

Breaking News: OSHA Hires Mayweather as Their New Spokesman:: Mayweather "safety first has always been my motto"

It was announced today that boxer Floyd "Money" Mayweather will be the new spokesman for the Occupational Safety & Hazard Administration (OSHA).

Steven Richards assistant staff director for the Department of Labor human resources division said, "we have always liked the way Mayweather fights in the ring. We describe his style as a cautious, 'don't get hurt' approach which is exactly what we stand for here at OSHA."

Residents of the the Michigan neighborhood where Mayweather grew up were asked if they were surprised to hear of this news. "Not really," said one of his of his former neighbors. She recalled the extreme cautiousness he practiced even as a child. "I remember the other kids would climb trees that were still standing but not Money. He would wait till the tree was old and decrepit. Once it fell over he would climb on top of the trunk and raise his arms in victory."

 New equipment Mayweather plans on bringing into the ring using his position at OSHA.

While Mayweather is undeniably good at avoiding injury, some question if this was a worthwhile move by OSHA.

Doc Brown of the Teapot Movement said, "Mayweather will be receiving a 90 million dollar a year salary. I don't think it's worth that much money (no pun intended) just so he can show us what staying safe consists of. And why the hell is he demanding that the entire Department of Labor go through Olympic steroid testing? I mean seriously what is the point of that?? Mayweather may be the winner in all this, but the loser, once again, is the taxpayer."

Hiphop artist T.I. countered Doc Brown's statement with a quip of his own, "Doc Brown has nothing to worry about. This can't hurt anybody and will NOT be a black eye for OSHA"

"I also plan on running for president cuz I'm also good at running, also."
Floyd ’Money’ Mayweather by theglobalpanorama, on Flickr
Creative Commons Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic License   by  theglobalpanorama

*Don't forget to check out my book, Moby Brick! 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...