tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28910571131514442452024-03-13T23:51:33.138-07:00They're All Against Me!Comedy site for scientologists and normal people.BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-25957536669425876292017-08-26T14:28:00.001-07:002017-08-29T21:38:16.301-07:00The Brick Goes on Shark Tank!
Wuddup peeps?
As y'all know I work at a donut factory. But what you might not know is that I like to harass venture capitalists in my spare time. Most recently, I went on the TV show Shark Tank to pitch one of my inventions to the reality star billionaires. Here's how it went:
I walked into the studio.
BRICK
Hello, sharks. For legalBrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-8503296043529146202017-05-20T11:10:00.000-07:002020-03-21T15:17:51.282-07:00Small Apartment Problems (a.k.a. brokeass)
ahh to be middle aged and broke again...
*Don't forget to check out my book, Moby Brick's Unshuffled Deck!
BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-68329929284509382062017-03-03T19:26:00.001-08:002017-07-23T22:51:14.574-07:00Inside the Donut Hole
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BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-88777745376542665882017-02-03T20:39:00.004-08:002020-11-13T04:46:29.042-08:00Leader of Street Gang Rollin 420's Resigns Amongst Alligations of Racism
Hello jackaloons! I'm currently on administrative leave from the donut factory I work at for the pants-less cartwheel incident, so I decided to engage in some B.S. work to keep myself busy: investigative journalism.
Hey! Acting is a serious career!
"reporters" (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Oregon State University
Today's story comes from the mean streets of Temecula where BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-58893120898060377422017-01-07T19:15:00.000-08:002017-01-07T19:23:55.437-08:00Breaking Janitor
So the dount factory I work for asked me to start writing for our company newsletter, Inside the Donut Hole. I guess the caught wind of my affinity for writing. They also caught wind of my egg sandwich.
Ba dun tssss! I'm here all night, unfortunately.
Since it's January, they asked me to write a piece about new beginnings and motivation and being all you can be etc. Here's what I came BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-86228446728506945602016-07-17T18:15:00.002-07:002024-01-08T00:24:29.511-08:00Top 5 Movies You've Never Heard Of
I'm bored today, so I thought I'd make a list of my top five underrated movies...
5) HARD EIGHT
Despite staring the big shot names of John C Reilly, Samuel L. Jackson, and Gwyneth Paltrow, no one I've ever talked to about this movie has even heard of it. It's set at a slow pace, and I can see why it didn't become a commercial success. However the movie has a profound moral told in a BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-19167953259997837562016-07-10T16:45:00.000-07:002024-01-08T00:28:54.945-08:00Neil DeGrasse Tyson; Not So Scientific
I love science. I think it's awesome. Not only has it given us useful technology, badass entertainment, and life-saving advances in medicine, but I find it fascinating in and of itself. I am especially interested in quantum physics. The developments in this field combine reality with our craziest dreams as they break down our whole universe into a two dimensional existence produced in its BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-80498586565796712792016-02-18T19:28:00.001-08:002016-02-18T20:00:26.403-08:00New from Apple: the i-aSISt
In defiance of the FBI, Apple has announced a new product they will be launching this Spring: the i-aSISt.
"organic i-pod shuffle" (CC BY 2.0) by asboluv
This new "super encrypted" product, is shaped like an apple to camouflage the fact that it is a fully functional electronic communication device with wifi capabilities.
We asked, Todd JohnsonBrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-47987906513797479952016-01-26T18:04:00.001-08:002016-02-20T16:03:08.443-08:00The Joe Rogan FactorBrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-56735620766164601272015-09-25T00:00:00.003-07:002015-11-13T11:42:32.918-08:00Evolving Truth
I am a full on Catholic; like don't eat meat on Fridays, church every Sunday (after sobering up from Saturday) believe in purgatory Catholic. So do I think humans started with Adam and Eve, and that angels came down from heaven and made love to the "daughters of Eve" to create human/angel hybrids, and that God walked the Earth and placed a giant, flaming, rotating sword at the base of the TreeBrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-15930392477050614682015-06-28T22:04:00.002-07:002015-07-04T16:53:24.952-07:00Brick vs the Sea (the day the ocean dieded)
The other day, my homie Donnie B and I decided to go kayaking in New Port Beach. We picked New Port because apparently there is a bay there that is super easy
to drop a kayak in. So we went to said bay, dropped the kayak, and
started paddling out. It was fun at first but then it got kind of
boring.
When bored snap a selfie..
BRICK
Dude this is too slow. I BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-12845483939343499202015-02-27T00:52:00.002-08:002015-04-21T19:07:14.100-07:00Mind your T's
So today I left work early (read: on time) so I could make sure to get to my first day of speech class on time. I jumped in my car and hauled ass almost killing three people. But made it on time - only to be permanently kicked out of the class. Yes, the very first week of the semester and I already got 86'ed!! You want to know why they would kick out a self-proclaimed, super genius like myselfBrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-36130460383773226532014-12-08T22:30:00.001-08:002015-01-18T19:57:38.595-08:00Off the Rails..
I moved around a lot as a kid. I spent ages 2-7 in West LA off Sepulveda and National. To this date, that has been the longest stretch of time I've ever lived in one city. So I like to think of it as my home town. Last weekend I stayed the night with some friends on the Westside.
The next morning I thought I'd pay a visit to my old stompin grounds since it was close by and drove to a park I BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-89480257098808803352014-09-29T21:53:00.001-07:002014-10-02T22:17:50.979-07:00Do You Speak Religion?
Yeah audio sync is off, but what hey what u gonna do when using free software you mooched off the internet?
Y
BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-73670901149074263982014-09-07T16:25:00.000-07:002017-03-16T21:53:15.455-07:00Eye of the Liger (stages are lonely)
A few weeks ago, actor Robin Williams killed himself. It came as a shock to many. Now while I get depression, I don't fully understand suicide. Life is short enough as it is. You want it all to end? Don't worry - it will. That's one of the few guaranties you can count on. So why make it any shorter, especially a funny man, a guy who gets paid millions to act a fool? He had such an sweet BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-408453749398732622014-05-17T15:42:00.003-07:002014-09-15T23:20:03.296-07:00Alice in Blunderland
Lately, there has been a lot of talk about GMO's (stands for Genetically Modified fOod, probably) around the water cooler a.k.a. Facebook. I know it's cool to bang the anti-GMO bongo. But as someone who was never allowed in the box to begin with, let me give you the "outside the box" perspective...
"Come on! Let me in the box! I promise I won't fart this time... haha just kidding"
&BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-20307274844366419632014-03-29T19:09:00.000-07:002014-04-19T14:29:44.678-07:00Sweet Love; Bad Cookie
Love in my life has been like rainbows: I could see it's beauty but is was never within my grasp...
Oh a double rainbow? Nice, rub it in..
by Bernt Rostad
According to memes I've seen on facebook, I'm supposed to be nice to people with unseeable diseases like autism and diabeats or however you spell that shit. Whatever you know what I mean. BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-79059933819008618522014-02-16T22:43:00.001-08:002014-04-19T13:45:23.304-07:00Upping Your Date
A few years ago, me and some homies were out getting tacos at Boca Del Rio in La Puente at about two in the morning. Afterwards, we headed home down Hacienda Blvd when we could see smoke coming from behind some trees a good couple of miles away. "There must be a house on fire," I said to my friends.
The next day I found out that the smoke we had seen came from my parish church, St. John BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-56925983935686862362013-08-31T20:42:00.001-07:002013-09-12T11:48:10.800-07:00Days of Young
Do Bricks Age?
Nah, they outlast civilizations ;)
So I had a birthday recently. I thought I could sneak it by my coworkers till I got to work that Friday morning where I found my cubical littered with HR-approved dollar store birthday decorations. They spare no expense at my low paying soulless corporation.
Modern day panem et circenses.
RANDOM COWORKER #34:
So it's your BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-70766992823842340422013-08-30T17:22:00.002-07:002014-04-19T14:30:59.841-07:00Rumble in the Ghetto
When
weekend rolls around, I like to spend time watering my azaleas, tending
to my precious stock market shares, oh and getting shitface-plastered.
The perfect trifecta!!
by mikebaird
This
particular night in question, we rolled out to Adams Ave for a little
bar hoping and tomfoolery. Our group consisted of me, El Mizo, and Gambi (stands for
Grown Ass BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-27607985982972224382013-06-22T01:11:00.002-07:002014-04-19T14:31:15.887-07:00Dude, Where's Your Dryer? (another night in pair o' dice)
Another slice of Brick life...
Last Friday I was pretty sick with the flu. I went to talk to my boss about it.
BRICK
I ain't feeling too good. I gotta take off early..
BOSS LADY
Fag.
BRICK
What?
BOSS LADY
I said drag! As in what a...
Can't you stick it out a few more hours? We have a lot of calls on cue..
BRICK
Well I have to rest up for my weekend job as a tortilla flipper.
BOSS LADY
BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-78720928140937902832013-06-16T17:07:00.001-07:002013-06-16T17:07:34.927-07:00Men's Warehouse (Parody)BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-68653669918298234142013-06-04T23:39:00.001-07:002015-02-07T15:12:40.455-08:00Manteca Nights
Love me some Mexicans...
Grad Boy
The other day I went to my boy Rude Dogg's graduation party.
BRICK
Dude!! So awesome you graduated!! You're the only one of our crew who's actually made something of yourself... I'm never going to see you again am I?
RUDE DOG
Probably not.
East L.A. house parties are usually sponsored by the Dodgers.
So we partied hard, BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-3333557923336276282013-04-28T22:39:00.000-07:002013-09-07T00:47:37.149-07:00Pogo Stick Fail
This was one of my favorite posts, so I turned it into a youtube clip..
BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891057113151444245.post-72630972155700835682013-04-19T22:15:00.001-07:002014-09-25T23:11:10.121-07:00The Man Who Knew Things
So my fan(s) the rumors are true... Brick has gone corporate! Yup, I got me a job at a big soulless corporation. And you know what? I like being part of the problem.
"lemme check on them stocks"
Ocean's 0.5
I accidentally broke into our neighboring company's snack room... twice. See what had happened was our manager kept telling us about a secret back entrance to our building (our BrickCruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08254866978063507380noreply@blogger.com0