Thursday, October 29, 2015

Dominantly Yours

So last night, myself, Hak Man, Deana, Stash Man the Human, Dutchman McEnglish, and Letty all went out to The 17th Door, the haunted house in the O.C. We had to sign a crazy ass waiver that said we might die or end up working in a sweatshop in Mexico or something. Then we were allowed into the haunted house. They instantly grabbed me and Dutchman and threw us into a locker together.


DUTCHMAN
Well this is romantic.

BRICK
I never seen you in this lighting before.

DUTCHMAN
Hold me!


**After being hit in the face with fish, groped by chubby clowns, and having our nipples hooked up to a car battery and electric shocked (actually happened), we eventually made our way out of that hell hole and met up with the rest of the crew**


STASHMAN
Dude! That was awesome!! I kept running up to people, yelling in their faces, and scarring the shit out of them!

DEANA
Um, I don't think that's how this is supposed to work...


He gets his savageness from his mustache!!  ...like Hitler


Sunday, October 25, 2015

Breaking News: OSHA Hires Mayweather as Their New Spokesman:: Mayweather "safety first has always been my motto"



It was announced today that boxer Floyd "Money" Mayweather will be the new spokesman for the Occupational Safety & Hazard Administration (OSHA).

Steven Richards assistant staff director for the Department of Labor human resources division said, "we have always liked the way Mayweather fights in the ring. We describe his style as a cautious, 'don't get hurt' approach which is exactly what we stand for here at OSHA."

Residents of the the Michigan neighborhood where Mayweather grew up were asked if they were surprised to hear of this news. "Not really," said one of his of his former neighbors. She recalled the extreme cautiousness he practiced even as a child. "I remember the other kids would climb trees that were still standing but not Money. He would wait till the tree was old and decrepit. Once it fell over he would climb on top of the trunk and raise his arms in victory."


 New equipment Mayweather plans on bringing into the ring using his position at OSHA.


Tuesday, October 13, 2015

I Now Pronounce You: Dead



This blog is mostly just stories about me and my friends getting drunk and acting stupid, but every now and then I write about something a little deeper and I guess this time, personal.


So anyways, words are a trip aren't they? I mean as in how arbitrary they are. For example, at some point some dude decided that the word "matrimony" means a man and woman getting hitched. And at some point some dude decided that the word "suicide" means to kill yourself. But they could just as easily have made the word "suicide" to mean to people getting married and the word "matrimony" to mean taking one's own life ;)


Smoooooooooth


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...