Saturday, March 29, 2014

Sweet Love; Bad Cookie

Love in my life has been like rainbows: I could see it's beauty but is was never within my grasp...
 

Oh a double rainbow? Nice, rub it in..


According to memes I've seen on facebook, I'm supposed to be nice to people with unseeable diseases like autism and diabeats or however you spell that shit. Whatever you know what I mean. Anyways what about unseen emotional scars? They are actually pretty comparable.

Let's say that there was a Pop Warner football game going on, and a little kid broke his leg. Even if he had the most uninvolved, barely caring parents, they would at the very least take him to the emergency room.

Could you imagine if you saw a kid break his leg and his parents yelled at him, "suck it up!! Quit being a bitch!!" Even if he tried to do that, it would only make his injury worse. A broken bone requires medical attention. There's simply no getting around that.

There was also no getting around Roger McGully. We had to show my X-ray for the insurance claim, I want to see his birth cirtificate!! 7 years old my ass!!!

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Upping Your Date

A few years ago, me and some homies were out getting tacos at Boca Del Rio in La Puente at about two in the morning. Afterwards, we headed home down Hacienda Blvd when we could see smoke coming from behind some trees a good couple of miles away. "There must be a house on fire," I said to my friends.

The next day I found out that the smoke we had seen came from my parish church, St. John Vianney's, which had been burnt down to the ground by an arsonist. We now hold mass under a giant tent, and after much negotiation with the insurance company, a settlement has finally been reached. We still need to raise about another 10 million dollars to rebuild the church, but fortunately the parishoners have been generous and we are getting there.

Things can change in an instant from just a small spark - sometimes for better, sometimes for worse..

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Gem or Potato?

My brothers and sisters, I have a confession to make: despite the spectacular outward appearance I maintain, I am actually a pretty sub-average human.

I was as shocked as you are


It's true. I can't run fast, throw or catch a ball very well. I barely know how to use a computer. I only pull chicks once in a blue moon and I come up with good ideas even rarer (rarelier?). The one thing I was ever good at since as far back as I could remember was seeing. I could see really, really good. Until glaucoma kicked in.

So does it suck to suck? Well, I doubt anyone would pick sucking over not sucking. But life's actually been pretty good. This is because I have awesome friends. Friends who not only outshone me, but outshoned the rest of the average masses. My friends have always been the most popular kids, gangsters, bullies, and very, very smart people.

You might think it would be discouraging to be around people who are essential better than you are, but I disagree. What better way to throw up a middle finger to the world if you are a guppy than to swim with the big fish and have all those hater eyes looking at you like "how in the hell did YOU get THERE???

Fish don't have hands of course. The middle finger is metaphorical like Atum's boner.

by Flavio~

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Fine-ass Beach

My stay in San Diego wasn't all about getting drunk and complaining out my job. It was also about a lot of awesome beach hiking. Here are some pretty pictures of da beech...





Monday, November 11, 2013

Tales of the Sea.... of alcohol that we drank o.0



ARRR mateys!!  Here be ye three tales of drunken dumbfuckery. Enjoy...


Furniture Crashers

One time my homie El Mizo hit me up...

EL MIZO
Hey Brick, come down to my pad I'm having a house party. Ay but do me a favor, pick up a few pizzas on the way. Don't worry I'll pay you back when you get here.

BRICK
OK

So I did as he said, bought some pizzas, and drove down to his pad. At his pad was alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.

Like, no shit, check out the size of my glass

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Days of Young


Do Bricks Age? 

Nah, they outlast civilizations ;)

So I had a birthday recently. I thought I could sneak it by my coworkers till I got to work that Friday morning where I found my cubical littered with HR-approved dollar store birthday decorations. They spare no expense at my low paying soulless corporation.


Modern day panem et circenses.



RANDOM COWORKER #34:
So it's your birthday this weekend huh. What you doing to celebrate?

BRICK:
Going to a funeral.


At least I get to suit up.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Rumble in the Ghetto

When weekend rolls around, I like to spend time watering my azaleas, tending to my precious stock market shares, oh and getting shitface-plastered.

The perfect trifecta!!
Pismo trio (L-R: Dorothy Ellis, TJ Carse by mikebaird, on Flickr
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License  by  mikebaird 


This particular night in question, we rolled out to Adams Ave for a little bar hoping and tomfoolery. Our group consisted of me, El Mizo, and Gambi (stands for Grown Ass Man Being Insulted). It was a good time as we downed shot after shot of fireball and got some beers in us inbetween. We then saw one of Gambi's good friends, Cici, who El Mizo was attracted to - out with two other dudes who she was taking home with her.

El Mizo proposed we follow them back to her house. "I'm down," I said. What could possibly go wrong? We bought some beer and headed down 36th to crash the menage. When we got there, I walked in the livingroom while El Mizo and Gambi went to put beers in the fridge.

I pointed to a boom box in the corner of the room and said, "oh cool, they used to call those ghetto blasters, hehe."

As it turns out, one of the dudes Cici had brought home with her was a complete and total douchebag. I knew this the minute he responded to my comment with, "yeah, and it looks like it brought the ghetto in too."

Oh hell no. You can say what you want about me - vast majority of the time I won't even give a shit, but you insult my homies and it's on, especially since Gambi is black and I wasn't sure if it was meant to be a racist comment. Either way I started tearing into this dude.

BRICK
I don't know what's more white, your shirt or your skin tone.

D-BAG
Ahaha very funny. Say why do they call you Brick? Is it because you're as dumb as a brick?

BRICK
Naw, I'm not as dumb as you look.

D-BAG
Good one, I'll take that as a compliment coming from you.

BRICK
You should take it as a complement, cause that's about as good as it's gonna get.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Dude, Where's Your Dryer? (another night in pair o' dice)

Another slice of Brick life...

Last Friday I was pretty sick with the flu. I went to talk to my boss about it.


BRICK
I ain't feeling too good. I gotta take off early..

BOSS LADY
Fag.

BRICK
What?

BOSS LADY
I said drag! As in what a...
Can't you stick it out a few more hours? We have a lot of calls on cue..

BRICK
Well I have to rest up for my weekend job as a tortilla flipper.

BOSS LADY
You're going to work at the taco shop when you're sick?

BRICK
Duh. Don't want them to fire me.

BOSS LADY
You're a tard.

BRICK
What?

BOSS LADY
I said don't work too hard.

BRICK
Wasn't plannin on.


 I rarely do...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Manteca Nights


Love me some Mexicans...


 Grad Boy


The other day I went to my boy Rude Dogg's graduation party.

ME
Dude!! So awesome you graduated!! You're the only one of our crew who's actually made something of yourself... I'm never going to see you again am I?

RUDE DOG
Probably  not. 

East L.A. house parties are usually sponsored by the Dodgers.

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