Were you raised by a man of character who taught you right from wrong? Yeah me neither.
Although he was considerably flexible for a fat guy.
As a result of my poor upbringing here's what I get up to on my spare time:
My buddy Cuervo hit me up wanting to go to Hollywood. I was already in L.A. so we arranged for him to pick me up on Los Angeles Street in the heart of downtown. He drove up and down the street but could not see me. We were wasting precious party minutes, so I decided to take one for the team. I threw what dignity I had left out of the hole in the wall I call a window and started dancing like a leprechaun. That way Cuervo could see me his next lap down the street.
Hi peeps, I know I haven't posted in a while. But I finally got my own home-made internet, so more posts to come! In the meantime thought I'd post the opening scene of a romantic comedy movie I started working on..
"Nooooo! How could my horse leave me!! I thought I locked the gate??"
Lately, there has been a lot of talk about GMO's (stands for Genetically Modified fOod, probably) around the water cooler a.k.a. Facebook. I know it's cool to bang the anti-GMO bongo. But as someone who was never allowed in the box to begin with, let me give you the "outside the box" perspective...
"Come on! Let me in the box! I promise I won't fart this time... haha just kidding"
For starters, I believe that human intellect and creativity were given to us for a reason. We were actually meant to develop technology from spears that let our ancestors feed and protect themselves, to guns that do the same for us today; from huts that protected our ancestors from the "elements" to barns that store food.
I don't understand this newfound raw hatred for any kind of human development whatsoever. I'm not saying people don't take things too far sometimes. And just because we are capable of doing something is not reason enough to justify doing it. But think about what the world would be like if we never expressed our intelligence through development. Take fruit for example; such a perfect natural food packed with vitamins and minerals which help us grow strong and they taste delicious at the same time. Except that they don't.
According to memes I've seen on facebook, I'm supposed to be nice to people with unseeable diseases like autism and diabeats or however you spell that shit. Whatever you know what I mean. Anyways what about unseen emotional scars? They are actually pretty comparable.
Let's say that there was a Pop Warner football game going on, and a little kid broke his leg. Even if he had the most uninvolved, barely caring parents, they would at the very least take him to the emergency room.
Could you imagine if you saw a kid break his leg and his parents yelled at him, "suck it up!! Quit being a bitch!!" Even if he tried to do that, it would only make his injury worse. A broken bone requires medical attention. There's simply no getting around that.
was also no getting around Roger McGully. We had to show my X-ray for
the insurance claim, I want to see his birth cirtificate!! 7 years old
A few years ago, me and some homies were out getting tacos at Boca Del Rio in La Puente at about two in the morning. Afterwards, we headed home down Hacienda Blvd when we could see smoke coming from behind some trees a good couple of miles away. "There must be a house on fire," I said to my friends.
The next day I found out that the smoke we had seen came from my parish church, St. John Vianney's, which had been burnt down to the ground by an arsonist. We now hold mass under a giant tent, and after much negotiation with the insurance company, a settlement has finally been reached. We still need to raise about another 10 million dollars to rebuild the church, but fortunately the parishoners have been generous and we are getting there.
Things can change in an instant from just a small spark - sometimes for better, sometimes for worse..
So I had a birthday recently. I thought I could sneak it by my coworkers till I got to work that Friday morning where I found my cubical littered with HR-approved dollar store birthday decorations. They spare no expense at my low paying soulless corporation.
Modern day panem et circenses.
RANDOM COWORKER #34:
So it's your birthday this weekend huh. What you doing to celebrate?
particular night in question, we rolled out to Adams Ave for a little
bar hoping and tomfoolery. Our group consisted of me, El Mizo, and Gambi (stands for
Grown Ass Man Being Insulted). It was a good time as we downed shot after shot of fireball
and got some beers in us inbetween. We then saw one of Gambi's good friends, Cici,
who El Mizo was attracted to - out with two other dudes who she was
taking home with her.
Mizo proposed we follow them back to her house. "I'm down," I said.
What could possibly go wrong? We bought some beer and headed down 36th
to crash the menage. When we got there, I walked in the livingroom while
El Mizo and Gambi went to put beers in the fridge.
I pointed to a boom box in the corner of the room and said, "oh cool, they used to call those ghetto blasters, hehe."
it turns out, one of the dudes Cici had brought home with her was a
complete and total douchebag. I knew this the minute he responded to my
comment with, "yeah, and it looks like it brought the ghetto in too."
hell no. You can say what you want about me - vast majority of the time
I won't even give a shit, but you insult my homies and it's on,
especially since Gambi is black and I wasn't sure if it was meant to be a
racist comment. Either way I started tearing into this dude.
I don't know what's more white, your shirt or your skin tone.
Ahaha very funny. Say why do they call you Brick? Is it because you're as dumb as a brick?
Naw, I'm not as dumb as you look.
Good one, I'll take that as a compliment coming from you.
You should take it as a complement, cause that's about as good as it's gonna get.