Friday, October 3, 2014

Eagles Need Two Wings to Soar..

As an International Man of intrigue, I watch a lot of Comedy Central. It keeps me in touch with what's going on in the world. For comic relief, I turn to CNN. It's always good for a laugh. Apparently there's been much talk lately about left vs right political views. I've decided to settle the issue once and for all...


The spirit of the buffalo is strong with this eagle.
Eagle by buddapix, on Flickr
Creative Commons Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic License   by  buddapix 

Monday, September 29, 2014

Do You Speak Religion?


Yeah audio sync is off, but what hey what u gonna do when using free software you mooched off the internet?


Y

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Brick in the Pants

I know I post this shit too much, but conversations between me and Nacho make me laugh too much not to share..


Sunday, September 7, 2014

Eye of the Liger (stages are lonely)

A few weeks ago, actor  Robin Williams killed himself. It came as a shock to many. Now while I get depression, I don't fully understand suicide. Life is short enough as it is. You want it all to end? Don't worry - it will. That's one of the few guaranties you can count on. So why make it any shorter, especially a funny man, a guy who gets paid millions to act a fool? He had such an sweet gig..

Why are so many entertainers substance abusers? Why do they have self destructive tenancies? How can someone get on stage to perform in front of a large crowd and yet claim to have social anxiety?

As a wannabe entertainer, I believe I can shed a bit of light on these questions. It's because us comedians, wannabe or not, have the eye of the liger. A liger, in case you never saw Napoleon Dynamite, is a mix between a lion and a tiger.


Ok, starting to understand the suicide thing now..
napoleon dynamite by thisRobot, on Flickr
Creative Commons Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic License   by  thisRobot 

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Inspite of Our Fathers (the drunken master-debator incident)


Were you raised by a man of character who taught you right from wrong? Yeah me neither.


Although he was considerably flexible for a fat guy. 


As a result of my poor upbringing here's what I get up to on my spare time:

8:00 P.M.

My buddy Cuervo hit me up wanting to go to Hollywood. I was already in L.A. so we arranged for him to pick me up on Los Angeles Street in the heart of downtown. He drove up and down the street but could not see me. We were wasting precious party minutes, so I decided to take one for the team. I threw what dignity I had left out of the hole in the wall I call a window and started dancing like a leprechaun. That way Cuervo could see me his next lap down the street.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Pinky Swears Last Forever



Hi peeps, I know I haven't posted in a while. But I finally got my own home-made internet, so more posts to come! In the meantime thought I'd post the opening scene of a romantic comedy movie I started working on..

"Nooooo! How could my horse leave me!! I thought I locked the gate??"



Saturday, May 17, 2014

Alice in Blunderland

Lately, there has been a lot of talk about GMO's (stands for Genetically Modified fOod, probably) around the water cooler a.k.a. Facebook. I know it's cool to bang the anti-GMO bongo. But as someone who was never allowed in the box to begin with, let me give you the "outside the box" perspective...

"Come on! Let me in the box! I promise I won't fart this time... haha just kidding"


For starters, I believe that human intellect and creativity were given to us for a reason. We were actually meant to develop technology from spears that let our ancestors feed and protect themselves, to guns that do the same for us today; from huts that protected our ancestors from the "elements" to barns that store food.

I don't understand this newfound raw hatred for any kind of human development whatsoever. I'm not saying people don't take things too far sometimes. And just because we are capable of doing something is not reason enough to justify doing it. But think about what the world would be like if we never expressed our intelligence through development. Take fruit for example; such a perfect natural food packed with vitamins and minerals which help us grow strong and they taste delicious at the same time. Except that they don't.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Sweet Love; Bad Cookie

Love in my life has been like rainbows: I could see it's beauty but is was never within my grasp...
 

Oh a double rainbow? Nice, rub it in..


According to memes I've seen on facebook, I'm supposed to be nice to people with unseeable diseases like autism and diabeats or however you spell that shit. Whatever you know what I mean. Anyways what about unseen emotional scars? They are actually pretty comparable.

Let's say that there was a Pop Warner football game going on, and a little kid broke his leg. Even if he had the most uninvolved, barely caring parents, they would at the very least take him to the emergency room.

Could you imagine if you saw a kid break his leg and his parents yelled at him, "suck it up!! Quit being a bitch!!" Even if he tried to do that, it would only make his injury worse. A broken bone requires medical attention. There's simply no getting around that.

There was also no getting around Roger McGully. We had to show my X-ray for the insurance claim, I want to see his birth cirtificate!! 7 years old my ass!!!

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Upping Your Date

A few years ago, me and some homies were out getting tacos at Boca Del Rio in La Puente at about two in the morning. Afterwards, we headed home down Hacienda Blvd when we could see smoke coming from behind some trees a good couple of miles away. "There must be a house on fire," I said to my friends.

The next day I found out that the smoke we had seen came from my parish church, St. John Vianney's, which had been burnt down to the ground by an arsonist. We now hold mass under a giant tent, and after much negotiation with the insurance company, a settlement has finally been reached. We still need to raise about another 10 million dollars to rebuild the church, but fortunately the parishoners have been generous and we are getting there.

Things can change in an instant from just a small spark - sometimes for better, sometimes for worse..

Sunday, February 9, 2014

We Were Born with Interlocking Hands for a Reason

There are a fair number of people I've talked to that believe in human progress. They think that as advances are made in science, so too does human existence advance. In other words humans keep getting better and better just like their technology. Part of this ever forward progression, they believe, is the evolution of man past the Christian religion. Christianity should be tossed aside like antiquated medical practices.

I disagree. I think Christianity is not just a free choice that people can make for themselves. It is in fact the most crucial element needed in our social fabric that must be widespread and strong if our society is to survive. I think we can all agree that the degradation of society results in anarchy.

Either that or tyranny since - as with most opposite extremes - they tend to lead to the same outcome: a shitty life for their citizens. So how do we prevent anarchy? Well with the laws written by politicians of course. But laws are overrated. The other solution, self regulation, is perhaps underrated in our modern times, but it has its flaws as well.


Allow me to explain using my hands...


         On the One Hand, Laws...

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