Thursday, August 30, 2012

Europa Jr: Blonder, Whiter

The other day a homie and I did an international road trip and crossed the boarder from Europa into Europa Jr. The sea was angry that day my friends. Not that we were anywhere near the sea, but I like to check the sea mood reports online.

"The real question is what did we do to make the sea so angry at us"

Obama in Terre Haute by BeckyF, on Flickr
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License  by  BeckyF 

I noticed with my keen seeing eye that everything was made of rocks even the streets...

I guess that makes this rock quarry the mother this town was born out of...

Metaphorical vagina is the closest thing my blog has to porn

At least they spoke English, but I mean that they do that in the States too, not really anything new. The poster below says "there's a party in my pants and you're invited." 

You could probably read it yourself if it weren't so blurry, but apparently I have young adult onset Parkinson's.

Just when my inner American was rearing his ugly head in boredom at just another lame town made out of rocks we randomly stumbled upon the most awesome thing ever: a fucking midnight mini golf course! What they did was build an indoor mini golf course with two stories of golfy funess (11 holes per floor, yes 22 fucking holes!) lit with black lights and florescent decor. As if that wasn't cool enough when you play the last hole on the second story the way back down is through a dark tube slide like the kind they have at water parks. This totally won me over, Europa Jr. rocks!!! (No pun intended)

                               Like golfing with Spongebob
Flagrant rip off! I guess Europa Jr has more in common with regular Europa than I thought...

This is a picture of the rickety staircase that took us to the second level. See what kind of awesomeness you can have when your country isn't weighed down by stupid OSHA regulations?

The tube slide...
You can probably tell by how excited this makes me that I didn't have much of a childhood

As we headed home that night, I thought about how much cooler Europa Jr was than regular Europa. Then a thought occurred to me: if Europa Jr is so much better, maybe it's not the Jr... o.0

P.S. Something else I learned that day is that three X's in a row doesn't always mean porn. Consequently, I now have a court date for Oct 23rd. But I don't mind, it's just an excuse to go back.

And they said they were disappointed, the nerve!

*Don't forget to check out my book!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...