Sunday, January 13, 2013

Brave New World Order

It's trippy how much things can change when you leave the country and then come back a year later. There's all kinds of new shit they came up with that makes you feel like a defrosted cave man when you are introduced to it. For example, they came up with new Beavis and Butt-Head episodes!

Behold the future.

This was excellent news. I used to love watching Beavis and Butt-Head episodes they would run late at night on the TV in our garage with the homies. And I give the creators all the credit in the world - the new episodes are just as funny as the old ones if not more so including the many Guido jokes. How do they manage to stay relevant like that??

So anyways one day I had the place to myself since JT, Donnie B, and Landlord Patrick left for the weekend to go shoot fabrege eggs with their shotguns, or hunt peasants who were promised their freedom if they manage to survive, or whatever the fuck it is rich land barons do on their time off.


I decided to pop in my Beavis and Butt-Head DVD and watch it on the projector they have in the living room when I came across a slight problem: there was a shit load of machines and I had no idea how to work any of them.

Skynet is real people!

The future can go fuck itself.

I had seen my friends operate these remotes a million times when they watch their Faberge Egg Polishing Techniques DVD's. If only I had paid attention instead of practicing my breakdancing head spins.

So many things I missed in life due to this activity.
Spin me right round, baby right round by gluemoon, on Flickr
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License  by  gluemoon 

I decided to go Mortal Kombat on their ass and mashed down on all the buttons of the various remotes. Random shit started started happening. Car alarms went off, poisonous darts shot from one wall to the other, a fat Asian chick popped out of nowhere and gave me the best damn massage I've ever had - but no Beavis and Butt-Head!!!

I finally decided to really go Mortal Kombat on their ass and kicked the shit out of the many machines that denied me my Beavis and Butt-Head. Finally, all those karate kicks I practiced in my cubical everyday came in handy. Totally worth the write-up. So, yeah, I didn't get to watch my DVD, but it turns out I got my entertainment after all.

hehe, hehe, hehe, hehe....

*Don't forget to check out my book!  

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