Saturday, February 2, 2013

Chop Shop Junkies

You might work for a chop shop if...

1. Your managers have neck tattoos.

2. You receive multiple W2's from different company names even though you've worked for the same company all year.

3. When you come into work in the morning and your neighbor's cubical is empty you know it's for one of the following reasons: he was fired for being too shady/not shady enough, or he's dead, or the cops finally found him, or he quit because child support finally found him and he decided it was more economically viable to stop working altogether.

4. The company used to charge upfront fees to their customers until a regulatory agency started "cracking down."

Shadiness? No, shadiness is strictly against our policy here at Union Trust Financial, formerly known as Century One Loans, formerly known as Ray of Truth Money Union Trans House of Annuities, formerly know as Lot 37GH.

5. You receive threatening calls at work from creditors ...who are looking for the owner.

6. You found out about your job on craigslist or from a chop shop hopper ex-coworker.

7. There's a collapsible stripper poll in the supply closet for when the boss rewards the sales floor's high production by hiring entertainment.*

8. You tell your clients "Of course we have a website" but you don't actually give them the web address because it looks like it was designed by a five year old.

Sign one of our contracts and you'll be entered to win a free Eye Pod!!!
organic i-pod shuffle by asboluv, on Flickr
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License  by  asboluv 

9. You know about surrounding chop shops - not because you worked there but because they trade employees with your company like ball players.

10. You don't use your real name when talking to clients. Your boss is fine with this. In fact, it may have been his idea.

11. You spend your lunch break looking for another job.

*Actually fucking happened

**Don't forget to check out my book!  

1 comment:

  1. HAHA LoL very entertaining read! from somebody who has no experience with chop shops GOOD LUCK!


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