Sunday, September 23, 2012

I'm Addicted to Flake-ahol!!!

My friends always complain that I'm too much of a flake. I really don't see the problem; I mean flakes might not make a good main course, but they do make up the vast majority of breakfast cereals. And what would be life without breakfast cereals??

We might as well be living in a 3rd world country! (My apologies to my readers from 3rd world countries, I didn't mean to remind you of your plight.) But I guess my flakiness got to be too big of a problem so they sent me to take these classes...

Brick is chalk full of brany goodness! ...blueberries sold separately


HEAD CLASS GUY:
I would like to call this meeting of Flakeaholics Anonymous to order. First of all, we have a new member who is apparently not a 6 foot 5 inch black bodybuilder. Why did you lie on your application Brick?

BRICK
I was hoping you'd all be blind. I rolled the dice, and I lost!

HCG
OK, well tell us a little about yourself.

BRICK
My name is Brick, I like long walks on the beach, my favorite color is magenta...

HCG
I meant tell us about your flakiness!!

BRICK
Sorry, I just like to throw that out there just in case there are any hot chicks here that want to get to know me better..

HCG
"Just in case there are any hot chicks?" Why wouldn't you just look around the room to check?

BRICK
You can't tell me what to do!

HCG
So what brings you here?

BRICK
They say I'm a flake. Recently I was supposed to meet up with my friend Juan. He wanted me to be his wing man when he went to meet this chick and her friend. I don't really know why he wanted a wing man in the first place, cause Juan is a player. It's like I always say.

*long pause*

HCG
Um, what do you always say?

BRICK
I always say, "Juan can fuck any girl he wants to!" That's usually when they ask me to leave the coffee shop. I guess they think I'm talking about myself, but why would I refer to myself in the third person??

HCG
Idiots...

BRICK
Obviously. Anyways, I figured Juan could handle things on his own so instead of meeting up as planned, I went to go get a haircut. That's when I realized I have a problem.

HCG
Because you bailed on your friend for something as stupid as getting a haircut?

BRICK
No, because the barber shop was closed after 9:00 PM.  Other people have schedules, and it really gets in the way of my flakey whims.

HCG
Alright, well let me tell you a little bit about our twelve step program.

BRICK
Actually this is getting kind of boring. I'm gonna hit up my friend Tokin, see what he's up to. When's the next meeting anyway?

HCG
You do realize it's just me and you in the supply closet right?

BRICK
Yeah. What's up with that?

HCG
None of the other flakes showed up.

BRICK
Such a shame.

HCG
You seem cool; we should hang out one of these days.

BRICK
Oh yeah, totally...

A good rule of thumb is if a grown man wears a Pinocchio hat, he's probably not that reliable...
  




*Don't forget to check out my book! http://mobybrickbook.com 

3 comments:

  1. Funny stuff. I'm glad you started this blog. You have a genuine talent and this should help get the word out. Then you will become either a highly-paid humorist, or a starving comic. Hard to say. I mean ... in a country that idolizes "Dancing With the Stars." Really? "Dancing With the Stars?" But don't let the Philistines get you down, Brick.

    Check out my old venture reborn on 11/12/2012. "Perihelion" Science Fiction rides again! www.PerihelionSF.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And btw thanks for all your help with reviewing my stories. I guess now I'll be expected to do the same for you lol

      Delete
  2. Thanks Sam! Good luck with the site launch, I will be there in virtual top hat and monocle!

    ReplyDelete

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