About a month ago I was reading a Europan newspaper, and when I checked the stocks I proclaimed, "This is no good! I must return to the U.S.A!" I don't own any stocks or anything, I just base my decisions off their pretty little charts.
This one is a good sign. It means I'll be cruzing downhill...
So I called up my travel agent and said, "Grandma, one ticket for the U.S.A! Make it happen!
I guess news of my departure traveled fast as Magnus, who I hadn't seen in months, came by my pad to say goodbye. At least I think that's what he came by for. It's kind of hard to tell what he's thinking when he stares into my face before rifling through my trash cans. I should probably mention Magnus is a fox who comes to visit my garden at night and trips off the light senors.
Like most my friends, I never know if he wants to lick me or eat my face.
Since my good friend Cuervo's birthday was coming up in a few weeks, it would have been silly to miss it by a couple of days. Thus my departure date was set for soon after I decided to head back.
Usually when faced with a daunting task such as preparing to move to another country, I will spend the majority of time thinking about the plan of attack. Then I attack at the last possible minute with the ferocity of a thousand burning suns!!!
Usually when faced with a daunting task such as preparing to move to another country, I will spend the majority of time thinking about the plan of attack. Then I attack at the last possible minute with the ferocity of a thousand burning suns!!!
Like a modern day Attila the Hun.
In the meantime, Miss Dee suggested we do one last trip to Paris... two days before I left. I said yes.
Can you blame me?
It was an awesome time. We saw an "experimental" jazz concert (translation: I had no idea what the fuck was going on), and did one last stroll on the streets of the City of Light. But it also meant that when I got home at 10 PM the day before my flight, I had to do all my last minute packing into the wee hours of the morning.
I only got two hours of sleep, but I was pretty proud of myself. I remembered everything: something to read on the plane, saved all my computer files to a DVR, took out my piercings, etc. The next morning, Miss Dee took me to the airport.
I only got two hours of sleep, but I was pretty proud of myself. I remembered everything: something to read on the plane, saved all my computer files to a DVR, took out my piercings, etc. The next morning, Miss Dee took me to the airport.
TSA AGENT
Sir why is your passport expired?
*OK so I forgot one thing*
BRICK
My bad.
TSA AGENT
It's been expired for almost a year. It's pretty unusual for someone not to notice their passport expiring for that long (translation: you're a moron).
BRICK
So are you going to force me to stay in your country?
TSA AGENT
*looks me up and down* then replied, "No."
End of Part 1
*Don't forget to check out my book! http://mobybrickbook.com
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