Europa Jr: Blonder, Whiter

The other day a homie and I did an international road trip and crossed the boarder from Europa into Europa Jr. The sea was angry that day my friends. Not that we were anywhere near the sea, but I like to check the sea mood reports online.

"The real question is what did we do to make the sea so angry at us"

  by  BeckyF 

Text Wars!

What's not to love about texting? They say it's a chick thing, but as usual they're wrong. Texting is cool because you respond when you feel like it; you can give short witty replies; and you avoid having in-depth, detailed, and boring conversations. All wit, no drama. Anyways here are some of me and my homies' best text wars...

 DINGBAT MAN

DINGBAT MAN
Wuddup bro

BRICK
Dude what's up? It's been a while.

DM
I know; I miss you like honey baked ham.

BRK
You calling me fat?

DM
No, but I will now: I miss you, you fat bastard!

BRK
*sniff* I got something in my eye ='(

DM
It's probably a piece of residual fat.

BRK
It's called an apostrophe you dumbass!

DM
Those are dangerous; one minute your writing a conjunction, next minute, Bam! You're assaulted by an apostrophe!

BRK
They're all against me.

DM
Look out! Here comes a whole gang of them '''''''''''''''''''''''

BRK
*high pitched scream* I gotta smash my phone!

DM
It's the only way.

BRK
So what you been up to since last time we talked?

DM
Tied the knot with Karen.

BRK
Really? You guys got a pad?

DM
Naw living in her mom's basement for now.

BRK
Well, I'll get you guys a chandelier for your basement as a wedding gift...

 "You have a twat face"  your move now, Dingbat Man! And to think, they kicked me out of debate school.

Stupid Things Chicks Do (Video)

Based on true events...

Europa's Flagrant False Advertising

As an American living in Europa, I have noticed a few cultural differences between us and them. For example due to their hatred of frivolous lawsuits, Europa is full of lies!!! Here, let me show you what I'm talking about...

I'm all for fuel economy but... seriously?

I Have a Dream: Cocaine and a Golf Cart

I'm somebody who has very vivid, involved dreams. I've had so many crazy dreams I can't remember them all including the time I dreamt I was let loose to cause all sorts of damage in a giant mansion made of marble only to get chased around by Herman Munster, or the time I dreamt I insulted the head of the Chinese mafia and spent my whole dream running away from their assassins.

"No freeeeeeeedddoooooom!!" That's their anti-Braveheart victory yell. Yeah you don't want to mess with a people who are that excited about government subjugation.

  by  blmurch