A Birthday Boy Named Susu

As you now know since I'm now telling you, I wrote an autobiography called Moby Brick. It's not out yet, but should be available in the next three months or so. In the meantime here's a clip about a business birthday dinner gone awry:

I have always had a little problem with alcohol - no, not your typical addiction problem, but rather an instant anger management problem. I.e. I get really pissed off and start fighting despite my naturally calm demeanor. It catches people off guard, and has gotten pretty bad in the past including the time I unintentionally bombed on my own cousin in a fit of drunken rage.

When I was younger, it was a sure thing: if I got drunk, I was going to get pissed and possibly fight. However, as I got older it only happened half the time; the other half I would actually get really happy and sometimes ended up singing and dancing. That was usually when I was around friends and felt comfortable in the environment I was in, but it could always go either way. Therefore every time I drank, had to take it slowly to see which direction my emotions were headed. 

So anyway, one day it was my Japanese boss Susu’s (short for Susumu) birthday and Boss R, Jennifer, a few top producing agents, and all the managers including myself went to a Japanese restaurant to celebrate. Before our food arrived, I was downing beers like an Irishman not realizing that Japanese beers have a high alcohol content. Then all the sudden, a panic hit me as I could feel myself lose control to the inner rage that was about to introduce itself to my bosses and coworkers. 

“No! Not now!” I thought to myself as I quickly reached for my water to reverse the effects of the brews, but it was too late. I stood up and yelled out, “I’m getting pissed off! #&%* this #@^!!!” Then I picked up my chair and slammed it on the ground. If you ever want to make a scene, I recommend doing it at a Japanese restaurant. If it’s anything like the spot we were at, it’ll be filled with really quiet Asians so that your actions won’t be drowned out by loud chatter and you’ll have everyone’s full attention. After rearranging the furniture with passion, I stormed out to walk it off outside. One of my sales agents followed me into the parking lot where I knocked the pack of cigarettes he was offering me out of his hand. But I then finally managed to calm down.

     Why would such a quite people invent such a noisy contraption?

The next day, Susu called me up, “Dude, what happened last night?”

“Well I was sitting in that Japanese restaurant surrounded by Charlie, and I started having flash backs of ‘Nam,” I joked.

“That statement is offensive on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin,” he replied. 

Later on, I met the mother of one of the agents named Johnny Boy who was present that night. One of the first questions she asked me was, “Did you really throw a chair in front of your boss?”

When we were by ourselves I yelled at Johnny Boy, “I can’t believe you told your mom about the chair throwing incident!”

He yelled back, “I can’t believe she told you that I told her!”
 
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