I'm Addicted to Flake-ahol

My friends complain I'm too much of a flake. I really don't see the problem - flakes aren't good for the main course, but they make up the vast majority of breakfast cereals. And what would be life without breakfast cereals?

We might as well be living in a 3rd world country. (My apologies to my readers from 3rd world countries, I didn't mean to remind you of your plight.) Still, my flakiness got to be too much of a problem, so they sent me to take these classes...

Brick is chalk full of brany goodness! ...blueberries sold separately

  by  TheBusyBrain 

HEAD CLASS GUY:
I would like to call this meeting of Flakeaholics Anonymous to order. First, we have a new member who is apparently not a 6 foot 5 inch black bodybuilder. Why did you lie on your application, Brick?

BRICK
I was hoping you'd all be blind. I rolled the dice, and I lost.

HCG
Okay. Well, tell us a little about yourself.

BRICK
My name is Brick. I like long walks on the beach, my favorite color is magenta -

HCG
I meant tell us about your flakiness!

BRICK
Sorry, I just like to throw my personal likes out there in case there are any hot chicks here that want to get to know me better..

HCG
"Just in case there are any hot chicks?" Why wouldn't you just look around the room to check?

BRICK
You can't tell me what to do!

HCG
So, what brings you here?

BRICK

They say I'm a flake. Recently I was supposed to meet up with my friend Juan. He wanted me to be his wing man when he went to meet this chick and her friend. I don't really know why he wanted a wing man in the first place, cause Juan is a player. It's like I always say.

*long pause*

HCG

Um, what do you always say?

BRICK

I always say, "Juan can fuck any girl he wants!" That's usually when they ask me to leave the coffee shop. I guess they think I'm talking about myself, but why would I refer to myself in the third person?

HCG

Idiots...

BRICK

I know, right? Anyways, I figured Juan could handle things on his own. So instead of meeting up as planned, I went to get a haircut. That's when I realized I have a problem.

HCG

Ah, yes. Bailing on your friend for something as stupid as getting a haircut - that's pretty flaky. I could see why that would lead you here.

BRICK

What? No, that's not why. It's because the barber shop was closed after 9:00 PM.  Other people have schedules, and it really gets in the way of my flakey whims.

HCG

Alright. Well, let me tell you a little bit about our twelve step program.

BRICK

Actually, this is getting kind of boring. I'm gonna hit up my friend Tokin, see what he's up to. When's the next meeting anyway?

HCG

You do realize it's just me and you in the supply closet, right?

BRICK

Yeah. What's up with that?

HCG

None of the other flakes showed up.

BRICK

Such a shame.

HCG

You seem cool. We should hang out sometime.

BRICK

Oh, yeah. Totally. Send me your number in the mail

A good rule of thumb is if a grown man wears a Pinocchio hat, he's probably not that reliable...

  

*Don't forget to check out my book! http://mobybrickbook.com