What's not to love about texting? They say it's a chick thing, but as usual they're wrong. Texting is cool because you respond when you feel like it; you can give short witty replies; and you avoid having in-depth, detailed, and boring conversations. All wit, no drama. Anyways here are some of me and my homies' best text wars...
DINGBAT MAN
Wuddup bro
BRICK
Dude what's up? It's been a while.
DM
I know; I miss you like honey baked ham.
BRK
You calling me fat?
DM
No, but I will now: I miss you, you fat bastard!
BRK
*sniff* I got something in my eye ='(
DM
It's probably a piece of residual fat.
BRK
It's called an apostrophe you dumbass!
DM
Those are dangerous; one minute your writing a conjunction, next minute, Bam! You're assaulted by an apostrophe!
BRK
They're all against me.
DM
Look out! Here comes a whole gang of them '''''''''''''''''''''''
BRK
*high pitched scream* I gotta smash my phone!
DM
It's the only way.
BRK
So what you been up to since last time we talked?
DM
Tied the knot with Karen.
BRK
Really? You guys got a pad?
DM
Naw living in her mom's basement for now.
BRK
Well, I'll get you guys a chandelier for your basement as a wedding gift...
FILTHY PHIL
S'up Brick, you still feeling down?
BRICK
Naw man, I feel rejewvinated like post WWII Germany. You know, nice and Jewy.
FILTHY PHIL
What about the black man?
BRK
He was still oppressed at that time. Couldn't ride the bus, or your sister. I keep a close eye on her.
FP
I don't have a sister wise guy.
BRK
Oh I thought she was your sister. Nevermind, I lost interest in her.
FP
So then I take it your still jerking off, can't get with a real chick? It's OK just put on a glove it'll feel like a brand new hand. Then dim the lights; you're dumb enough not to know the difference.
BRK
Fuck you! Soon my slut will come riding in on a white horse. It will be like a fairy tale: "Snow White gets Snow Whited."
FP
"Snowballed"? Dude that's disturbing.
BRK
That's how I like it; nice and disturbing. Otherwise it's no fun.
FP
Then why don't you go bang a big fat bald guy?
BRK
I don't want your sloppy seconds.
BRICK
How much do you love me??
FAT BOY
How much money you got??
BRK
You calling me a mongoloid?
FB
Depends, are you calling me a black man?
BRK
Never on a Monday.
FB
Good, cuz on Mondays I'm white.
BRK
Race changer!
FB
Jew!
*Don't forget to check out my book! http://mobybrickbook.com
DINGBAT MAN
Wuddup bro
BRICK
Dude what's up? It's been a while.
DM
I know; I miss you like honey baked ham.
BRK
You calling me fat?
DM
No, but I will now: I miss you, you fat bastard!
BRK
*sniff* I got something in my eye ='(
DM
It's probably a piece of residual fat.
BRK
It's called an apostrophe you dumbass!
DM
Those are dangerous; one minute your writing a conjunction, next minute, Bam! You're assaulted by an apostrophe!
BRK
They're all against me.
DM
Look out! Here comes a whole gang of them '''''''''''''''''''''''
BRK
*high pitched scream* I gotta smash my phone!
DM
It's the only way.
BRK
So what you been up to since last time we talked?
DM
Tied the knot with Karen.
BRK
Really? You guys got a pad?
DM
Naw living in her mom's basement for now.
BRK
Well, I'll get you guys a chandelier for your basement as a wedding gift...
"You have a twat face" your move now, Dingbat Man! And to think, they kicked me out of debate school.
FILTHY PHIL
FILTHY PHIL
S'up Brick, you still feeling down?
BRICK
Naw man, I feel rejewvinated like post WWII Germany. You know, nice and Jewy.
FILTHY PHIL
What about the black man?
BRK
He was still oppressed at that time. Couldn't ride the bus, or your sister. I keep a close eye on her.
FP
I don't have a sister wise guy.
BRK
Oh I thought she was your sister. Nevermind, I lost interest in her.
FP
So then I take it your still jerking off, can't get with a real chick? It's OK just put on a glove it'll feel like a brand new hand. Then dim the lights; you're dumb enough not to know the difference.
BRK
Fuck you! Soon my slut will come riding in on a white horse. It will be like a fairy tale: "Snow White gets Snow Whited."
FP
"Snowballed"? Dude that's disturbing.
BRK
That's how I like it; nice and disturbing. Otherwise it's no fun.
FP
Then why don't you go bang a big fat bald guy?
BRK
I don't want your sloppy seconds.
FAT BOY
BRICK
How much do you love me??
FAT BOY
How much money you got??
BRK
You calling me a mongoloid?
FB
Depends, are you calling me a black man?
BRK
Never on a Monday.
FB
Good, cuz on Mondays I'm white.
BRK
Race changer!
FB
Jew!
*Don't forget to check out my book! http://mobybrickbook.com
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