Dude, Where's Your Dryer? (another night in pair o' dice)

Another slice of Brick life...

Last Friday I was pretty sick with the flu. I went to talk to my boss about it.


BRICK
I ain't feeling too good. I gotta take off early..

BOSS LADY
Fag.

BRICK
What?

BOSS LADY
I said drag! As in what a...
Can't you stick it out a few more hours? We have a lot of calls on cue..

BRICK
Well I have to rest up for my weekend job as a tortilla flipper.

BOSS LADY
You're going to work at the taco shop when you're sick?

BRICK
Duh. Don't want them to fire me.

BOSS LADY
You're a tard.

BRICK
What?

BOSS LADY
I said don't work too hard.

BRICK
Wasn't plannin on.

 I rarely do...

**Since I had freed up my afternoon, I called up my boy Tokin**

BRICK
Yo dog, I got the day off. Wanna kick it? I can come over soon as I'm done with my laundry.


 TOKIN
Yeah, Brick, come on down. In fact bring your clothes you can wash em here and save yourself some quarters.

So I headed over to Tokin's were he, Cindy and I kicked it all night. The next day I woke up just in time to wash my load before going to my torilla flipping job. I stuck my clothes in the wash, let the machine do it's thing and them pulled them out. That's when I noticed the washing machine was riding solo.

*Sigh* no not that kind of solo...

  by  HotDirt21 

BRICK
Dude where's your dryer?

TOKIN
Don't have one. Some day though...

BRICK
Shit!!!

**So I called up El Hefette at the taco shop**

BRICK
So.. I like kind of need to dry my clothes, cause my friend don't got a dryer at his house. Can I use yours?

EL HEFETTE
Well I would let you, but I don't want you to know where I live. Just bring your clothes here. You can dry them on the fence outside.

BRICK
Cool thanks.

**I threw my hamper full of wet clothes in the trunk and headed to my second job. Of course when I actually got there and started hanging my clothes up I got the standard, "Oh you thought I was serious??" I hate that fucking line. Eight hours later, I was glad I was finally done with my shift and could go home to get some much needed rest. Then my phone rang**

BRICK

Hello?

FAT NICK

Hey Brick, it's me.

BRICK

Fatboy!! Wuddup yo!!

FAT NICK

Don't what up me. You still owe me $200. 

BRICK

Fuck I gotta learn not to answer unknown numbers!

FAT NICK

Yeah well today's your lucky day. I have an apartment I need cleaned up in two days cause I got renters coming in. You're gonna work off your debt.

BRICK

Can't dog, I've been sick. *cough*

FAT NICK

Oh shit I didn't know that. Why didn't you tell me. Where you at?

BRICK

Oceanside.

FAT NICK

That means you worked at the taco shop. You can't be that sick!

BRICK

Foiled again!!!

FAT NICK

You got 40 minutes, Brick.

BRICK

Fine, but I have some wet clothes in the trunk of my car that need to be washed. Can I use your washing machine?

FAT NICK

I hate you so much it's unreal.

BRICK

Thanks dog!

FAT NICK

40 minutes, Brick!

**Once again I threw my hamper full of wet clothes in the trunk only this time I headed down to the Shady Alley apartments in Chula Vista. When I got there, I threw my clothes in Fat Nick's washing machine since his apartment was right under the one he needed to fix up. Then I made my way up the stairs to the other apartment where I saw my boys Pun and Arab Nick**

BRICK

Damn he roped you guys into this too? Are any workers you use actual professionals?

FAT NICK

Shut up fool! You and Pun put up these blinds on the windows. Me and Arab will work on fixing the electrical circuits.

BRICK

You got a drill?

FAT NICK

Yeah, it's on the kitchen counter.

BRICK

Where are the drill bits?

FAT NICK

Don't got none. Some day though...

Actually, here, see if you can find some in my car.

**He threw me his car keys which made me smirk when I saw the personalized Betty Boop key chain they were attached to**

BRICK

Who's Lisa? 

FAT NICK

I don't know.

So you gonna check my car or what?

BRICK

Eh, rather not get my prints inside it. I'll just used this screw driver.. which is held together by duct tape. Fuck man, do you get all your tools from 7-11??

Making impromptu tools.. I guess Fat Nick learnt some valuable skills in prison after all.

  by  Mary-Lynn 

FAT NICK

You know what forget the blinds. Just rip the flooring out.

**So we go to ripping out the floor boards when all the sudden the tacos I stole from work were coming back up. I ran to the bathroom where I hurled like an Olympian. All the guys crowded around.**

FAT NICK

Cool at least you made it to the John. Too bad the plumbing don't fucking work!!!

BRICK

Shit dude, you might actually have to hire a licensed professional!

FAT NICK

Shut up.

**After puking, I got the shakes so bad that I might as well have been in Siberia. I laid on the floor and used cardboard boxes as sheets**

You see trash, I see a bed, a table, a chair... Guess you could say I'm a visionary.

  by  purplepix 

Just when I started to fall asleep our friend Ronaldo came crashing in.

RON

Guys!! You gotta take me to TJ!!

FAT NICK

What the fuck?? Why?

RON

The cops are looking for me! They are all over the neighborhood.

PUN

Dude calm down. They're not looking for you, they're looking for a guy who's been breaking into cars. They had him cornered but he got away. That's who they're looking for, not you.

**But Ron could not be convinced. He was sure they were after him and he would not let up till we agreed to take him to the border. So I lay dying in the back seat of Pun's 1980 something Ford Taurus heading for Tijuana at one o'clock in the morning.  My still unwashed clothes were in the trunk since Fat Nick was scared to leave the dryer running with no one home since his shotty wiring could start a fire. For some reason when I got in the car, I chose to sit behind Fat Nick. You should never sit behind a guy who's nickname is "Fat." Like General Lee, I had picked the wrong side**

PUN

How you doing back there, Brick?

FAT NICK

Who cares!? All he did was plug up my toilet, sleep on the floor, and try to get me to wash his clothes. And he owes me money!!

ARAB NICK

You too?

BRICK

I hate my life.

PUN

We all do, Brick, we all do...

 

And that is why I sit here in a room rank of rotting laundry which I should probably do something about. Instead, I choose to sit here blogging away....

 BrickMan, dedicated blogger, wah-nana!!!

*Don't forget to check out my book! http://mobybrickbook.com