Pogo-a-Gogo (picture story)

 

One day I was taking my morning 

       constitutional in the park...

The Debt Whisperer

Now that I moved back to Cali, I blog a lot less. It's not so much by choice as just the fact that I'm much more busy than I was when I lived in Europa. Anyways I figured I would give my readers a round up of what I've been up to - all two of you.

My weekend as expressed through effigies...

Chop Shop Junkies

You might work for a chop shop if...

1. Your managers have neck tattoos.

2. You receive multiple W2's from different company names even though you've worked for the same company all year.

3. When you come into work in the morning and your neighbor's cubical is empty you know it's for one of the following reasons: he was fired for being too shady/not shady enough, or he's dead, or the cops finally found him, or he quit because child support finally found him and he decided it was more economically viable to stop working altogether.

4. The company used to charge upfront fees to their customers until a regulatory agency started "cracking down."

Shadiness? No, shadiness is strictly against our policy here at Union Trust Financial, formerly known as Century One Loans, formerly known as Ray of Truth Money Union Trans House of Annuities, formerly know as Lot 37GH.

  by  Phillie Casablanca 

5. You receive threatening calls at work from creditors ...who are looking for the owner.

6. You found out about your job on craigslist or from a chop shop hopper ex-coworker.

7. There's a collapsible stripper poll in the supply closet for when the boss rewards the sales floor's high production by hiring entertainment.*

8. You tell your clients "Of course we have a website" but you don't actually give them the web address because it looks like it was designed by a five year old.

Sign one of our contracts and you'll be entered to win a free Eye Pod!!!

  by  asboluv 

9. You know about surrounding chop shops - not because you worked there but because they trade employees with your company like ball players.

10. You don't use your real name when talking to clients. Your boss is fine with this. In fact, it may have been his idea.

11. You spend your lunch break looking for another job.




*Actually fucking happened




**Don't forget to check out my book! http://mobybrickbook.com  

Brave New World Order

It's trippy how much things can change when you leave the country and then come back a year later. There's all kinds of new shit they came up with that makes you feel like a defrosted cave man when you are introduced to it. For example, they came up with new Beavis and Butt-Head episodes!

Behold the future.

Return of the Brick (Part 2)

So there I was at the airport all set to head back to Cali. As previously mentioned, the TSA agent decided to allow me to leave Europa for the U.S.A. despite the fact that my passport was well past its expiration date. I took one last look at Europa, boarded my plane, and ignored the safety show they put on before take off. Sorry, but the stewardesses just weren't cute enough.

Life saver, right here.

Return of the Brick (Part 1)

About a month ago I was reading a Europan newspaper, and when I checked the stocks I proclaimed, "This is no good! I must return to the U.S.A!" I don't own any stocks or anything, I just base my decisions off their pretty little charts.

This one is a good sign. It means I'll be cruzing downhill...

Ode to Europa

This is what Europe had to offer...




This is what America has to offer...

Yup, I made the right choice in coming back!!!

* Song generously contributed by The Redondants

Near Traumatized

On a popping night, Nacho, Chi-Chi, and I went out to Kelly's Bar a Karaoke joint in Pomona. I love Kelly's because there are usually many beautiful Latinas walking around, or even better, busting a move on the dance floor.

Now when it comes to how chicks see me, I believe I am about average. That's an OK place to be I guess, but certainly not ideal. You see I have player friends that get all the hot chicks; then I have bum friends who girls simply won't hit on.

Since I'm inbetween the two, I get hit on by all the average to ugly chicks because they know they're not going to get anywhere with the players; and they don't want to hit on the bums because they think that's aiming too low.

But I guess I really can't complain. For a guy who makes no effort to go up and talk to girls, I get a decent amount of play. And I do occasionally get hit on by some fine chicks for no apparent reason.

Like that stupid fountain at the mall people keep throwing change in. You're not getting any candy out of it buddy, believe me!!

  by  thisreidwrites 

See What Had Happened Was... (picture story)

This post is an ode to poor decisions I have made in my life....

Never should of taken the victory jump on the trampoline at the Scottish games - we wear those kilts commando style.

Freeeeeeeeedom!!!!! ..indeed

Liebster Award

I have some good news: my blog has been nominated for TWO awards by Marienne. One is called the Liebster Award the other the Laine Blogger Award. Why was my blog nominated you ask? I think it's because "They're All Against Me!" oozes class and sophistication despite having been told repeatedly by the person nominating me that it was done as a joke.

When you live in a fantasy world, you don't even need to wait till Halloween to wear a costume! 

 
by edenpictures